Wendi Rank – May 2026
As my children achieve milestones – graduation, college tours, new jobs – I find myself in more and more pictures.
I’ve never been a fan of having my picture taken. Let’s just get that out there right now. But as these pictures linger on my phone, my social media, my fridge, I find myself pausing. Scrutinizing. Appraising. And wondering what is going on with my eye makeup. Because in every photo, it looks like it’s gone.
My makeup routine has changed very little since my 20s. Mostly, it’s more concealer and foundation because my grandmother was right. Pale skin does get blotchy. But my eyes? It’s always been a kohl liner. Top and bottom. No mascara. No shadow. No browpencil.
A little blush and I’m good to go. A dark lip, if I’m feeling it. But I’m usually not feeling it. I passed on the lipstick when the kids were babies and little forehead kisses transferred Clinique’s Rum Raisin to every shirt I owned.
If I add that purpley lip now, people think I have a funeral later in the day. Or I got in a fight. Unbelievably, in photos from the last few years, that kohl liner just doesn’t show. I look pale. Washed out. Like the photo was taken the first day I was back on my feet after a lengthy illness.
I’m not sure how much darker I can go than kohl liner. That it fails to emphasize the light blue of my eyes, the pallor of my skin, the blonde lashes and brows — it’s just a mystery to me. Worse, the kohl-blush-Rum Raisin combo looks clownish when I catch myself in mirrors, like I’m in a tribute band to Amy Madigan’s character from Weapons.
I began taking note of eye makeup on every fifty-something blonde I passed. I scrolled the Instagram accounts of Jennie Garth and Gwyneth Paltrow. I paused every time Bobbi Brown’s Jones Road makeup popped into my feed. I used to pause every time Bobby Brown’s “My Prerogative” popped onto my radio. What a difference a quarter-century makes.
Also, you should see what your algorithm does when you’re scrolling actresses over fifty and makeup marketed at the middle-aged. Do you want to retire early? Take a quiz to assess your dementia risk? Learn the intricacies of Medicare?
Then hop into my feed, friend. Take a little swim. Even the universe is getting on the algorithm — my AARP invitation arrived last week. One blogger suggested a light eyeshadow from lash to lid, accented with a dark shadow in the lid crease. A little dot of white or pink in the corner by your nose et voilà – you no longer look old enough to remember Bobby Brown. Or radios.
Except I looked ghostly, like I was about to haunt an old English manor. Even mascara brushed over my newly curled lashes failed to resurrect me. I looked over the blog post again. Hmm. It says eyebrows are key. Thick eyebrows, darker than your hair. I have neither.
Dejected, I opened Instagram, hoping for pictures of an old English manor. Not to haunt. To pretend I live in. A video played out in my feed. A pale, blonde woman turning her light brows dark and lush with a mascara-ish wand which, for $26, could be mine if I just click here. I clicked here. Maybe Bobby Brown will deliver it.
Contact Wendi Rank on Instagram @wendirank
