Let’s talk nineties. – Wendi Rank

No, not nonagenarians. Although I feel like my own nonagenarian decade is right there, mocking me. But what I’m talking about here is the decade.

The fabulous decade. It birthed Beverly Hills, 90210 and Friends. The Blair Witch Project and M. Night Shyamalan’s redefinition of horror. Grunge as both musical genre and sartorial look. And the nineties jean.

You know the nineties jean. I promise you do. It’s looser than today’s jeans, with a bootcut ankle and medium wash.

I used to buy the button fly nineties jean. Paired with Doc Martens, I could be ready for a night at the movies or a night at the club. Or a night in, with a shapeless sweater and raglan socks.

My mom thought the Doc Martens were for kicking a date if he got fresh. They weren’t. Kelly Taylor – the 90210 character – wore them. So I did, too.

Somewhere, there’s a picture of me in a red dress with white polka dots. That was a Kelly Taylor-inspired choice, too. So was my first boyfriend. He thought he was very Dylan. But let me tell you something. He was so not Dylan.

First of all, Dylan was rich. And second, his dad was killed by the mob. And third, so was his wife. In separate attacks. It’s a long story. But it all happened in nineties jeans.

Nineties jeans were comfortable. They didn’t pinch. They didn’t chafe. I could nap in them. I could drink $7 club beers with them. Had I been Dylan’s wife, I could have been targeted by the mob in them. Which turned out to be her own dad, by the way. I mean, really, dude. Don’t you want to, I don’t know, check before you order a hit?

Now, today, as we’re talking, the most glorious thing has happened. Well, yes. Beverly Hills, 90210 is on Paramount Plus. But also, nineties jeans are back.

When nineties jeans arrived in my Instagram feed, I made like Kelly Taylor in the red polka dot dress all over again. That is to say, I went out and bought nineties jeans. Well, I didn’t go out. This isn’t the actual nineties. I ordered them online like a normal person.

Sliding into my new nineties jeans…is liberation too strong a word? Combined with my new ritual of shedding my pants the moment I’m home, I feel like the embodiment of the Danish trend hygge.

Wait. You’re hung up on the shedding pants thing, aren’t you? It’s just a notion my friend introduced me to. She takes off her pants as soon as she gets home. I don’t have that luxury – I still have a kid at home and a beagle who thinks it’s acceptable to use my thigh as leverage for jumping into his spot on the sofa.

I will be pantsless no time soon. I put on sweats. Leggings. Flannel pajama bottoms. Anything soft and cozy.

And now my nineties jeans. Recently, I was flying to see my daughter in college. Nineties jeans are great for flying. And, you know, watching Conclave on the seat back television.

Which has me wondering – are there other things from the nineties we can bring back? A 21 Jump Street-era Johnny Depp per- haps? Or Richard Grieco? Maybe The Mummy – with Brendan Fraser, not Tom Cruise – or stick shift cars?

Eh. You’re right. Who needs them? Nineties jeans are great all on their own. I mean, put a shirt on. But yeah. All on their own.

Contact Wendi Rank on Instagram @wendirank