Etiquette

Written By Gail Madison, Founder & Director
THE MADISON SCHOOL OF ETIQUETTE AND PROTOCOL

The word Etiquette strikes fear in the hearts of some and delights others. What does it actually mean? It very simply means “rules of conduct”. Etiquette used to mean “keep off the grass”. When King Louis XIV’s gardener at Versailles, his palace outside of Paris, France, discovered that the people were trampling through his gardens he put up signs or etiquettes to warn them off. Initially people ignored the signs and the king had to declare that no one go past the etiquettes. It worked. Later, the meaning of etiquette was expanded to rules for inside the palace. It still meant, in a sense, “keep off the grass”. If we stay within the bounds of etiquette and civility, relationships strengthen and grow and we learn too present ourselves with confidence in our personal and professional lives.
If you are a person of a certain age you may remember that teaching good manners was considered an important part of a child’s upbringing in the US until the late 60’s. Etiquette was considered part of a well-rounded education in public and private schools. The late 60’s and 70’s saw a decline in its popularity. It became popular again with a renewed interest in values in the 1980’s and then in the 1990’s business etiquette gained favor as having good manners or fine social skills was another tool you need to compete in the fierce business arenas here and abroad. In the business arena the word protocol is used instead of etiquette as it sounds more businesslike and professional. Protocol is used to mean authentic documents. Today the word protocol serves as the code of international politeness that blends diplomatic form, ceremony and etiquette.

More decisions are made around dining tables than boardroom tables. Other important skills, in addition to table manners, include being able to initiate and continue a conversation, introducing yourself and others with confidence and authority without falling all over yourself. Being able to handle yourself at a cocktail party or networking event and paying someone a compliment without ending up in HR, having a good sense of humor, dressing appropriately whether for the company golf outing or holiday party, are all part of etiquette and civility today.

In our future columns we will discuss many etiquette skills that will help people of all ages lead a happy successful life and we will promote civility and kindness. As Henry James said, “Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind, the second is to be kind, the third is to be kind.”
The word Etiquette strikes fear in the hearts of some and delights others. What does it actually mean? It very simply means “rules of conduct”. Etiquette used to mean “keep off the grass”. When King Louis XIV’s gardener at Versailles, his palace outside of Paris, France, discovered that the people were trampling through his gardens he put up signs or etiquettes to warn them off. Initially people ignored the signs and the king had to declare that no one go past the etiquettes. It worked. Later, the meaning of etiquette was expanded to rules for inside the palace. It still meant, in a sense, “keep off the grass”. If we stay within the bounds of etiquette and civility, relationships strengthen and grow and we learn too present ourselves with confidence in our personal and professional lives.
If you are a person of a certain age you may remember that teaching good manners was considered an important part of a child’s upbringing in the US until the late 60’s. Etiquette was considered part of a well-rounded education in public and private schools. The late 60’s and 70’s saw a decline in its popularity. It became popular again with a renewed interest in values in the 1980’s and then in the 1990’s business etiquette gained favor as having good manners or fine social skills was another tool you need to compete in the fierce business arenas here and abroad. In the business arena the word protocol is used instead of etiquette as it sounds more businesslike and professional. Protocol is used to mean authentic documents. Today the word protocol serves as the code of international politeness that blends diplomatic form, ceremony and etiquette.

More decisions are made around dining tables than boardroom tables. Other important skills, in addition to table manners, include being able to initiate and continue a conversation, introducing yourself and others with confidence and authority without falling all over yourself. Being able to handle yourself at a cocktail party or networking event and paying someone a compliment without ending up in HR, having a good sense of humor, dressing appropriately whether for the company golf outing or holiday party, are all part of etiquette and civility today.

In our future columns we will discuss many etiquette skills that will help people of all ages lead a happy successful life and we will promote civility and kindness. As Henry James said, “Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind, the second is to be kind, the third is to be kind.”